dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
