I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
