nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize