I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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