I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
