that's an acceptable place to lick
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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