physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
