dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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