He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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