rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
