you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
