Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
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