He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
