Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
