508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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