We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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