she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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