Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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