I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I touched a dick in church today
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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