Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
