Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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