Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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