I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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