Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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