im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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