I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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