I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
