i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
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