We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
