the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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