I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
