I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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