how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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