he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
