I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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