So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
