Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
