In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
