I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
