I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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