Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
