and my herpes radar will keep us safe
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
