So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
