Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
