in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
