I wish I could punch you in the face.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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