If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
