in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
