mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
