Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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