does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
