Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
